Therapy

We all get anxious, but for some it's too difficult to acknowledge, perhaps because they perceive it as a weakness, or simply fear being swallowed up by it. The result is that it gets internalised and it builds up, sometimes to where you will have sudden unexplained outbursts, or conversely go into a state of withdrawal in which you feel cut off, isolated, and increasingly unsupported. Take a deep breath! You are not alone, as up to a third of the population will suffer from an anxiety disorder or panic attack at some point in their life. And contrary to what some people might think, it isn't something you can't address. With good therapy you will not only cope better during life's ups and downs, but become stronger too.

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So much of our life can be taken up with what we do for a living, and trying to manage and juggle the demands of a job with a fulfilling family life can be really stressful. It can also be difficult if you are the one who might have sacrificed your own career or education to hold the fort at home. So it's not really surprising that there will be times when you are feeling really stressed and low, as if you have nothing left to give. Worse still is the fact that so many people in this situation don't feel able to reach out for support, and the longer this goes on the harder it becomes. The therapy room is the perfect space for acknowledging that you are simply exhausted and worn out, that life hasn't turned out in the way that you hoped, or possibly that you don't feel heard or understood by those around you. What you may very well need is some professional support to help you get back to the person you were, or perhaps meant to be.

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Grief is an unpredictable and unavoidable part of life. It is natural and normal for us to become overwhelmed by a whole range of emotions when we have lost someone or something we love. However, many of us don't allow ourselves the time to properly grieve so that we can fully come to terms with our loss. A typical example of this is the person who goes back to work the day after a loved one's funeral, thinking it will at least take their mind off the incredible pain and upset they are feeling. The common result is that we end up "stuck in grief" whereby our thoughts are continually on the loss, and ordinary life feels like it is just passing us by. Another common feature of grief and loss is people thinking it is only about bereavement, when it covers so many other parts of our lives as well. We can, for example, experience deep and long lasting grief around a professional disappointment such as a missed promotion at work, or a sudden health condition which limits our ability to enjoy life in the same way. But you can get support to help you through the grieving process, and with therapy you can better make sense of feelings that maybe overwhelming you.

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There are many causes for having low self-esteem, but what is for sure is that it develops as a result of experiences we have throughout our lives.

Let’s start at the beginning. Negative, early encounters are very important for the development of low self-esteem, including punishment, neglect, abuse or failing to meet someone else’s expectations, for example a parent’s unrealistic standards.

It is also possible to develop low self-esteem even without overt negative experiences, but just through a deficit of enough positive ones such as warmth, praise, love or encouragement, which can leave us feeling like we are not good enough, not worthy of someone else’s time and attention or even love.

Whatever the reason for low self-esteem, it causes us emotional and psychological harm and upset, affecting our personal and social life. People with low self-esteem can also talk more harshly to themselves and have a negative, judgemental voice in their head putting them down, which just saps our energy and keeps us feeling less confident and capable. In addition, low self-esteem and a lack of confidence can be correlated with a number of negative conditions such as depression, anxiety and being generally more pessimistic about our life and future.

Your self-esteem is your reputation with yourself, so if you feel you need more support to help you feel better about yourself, and help to stop that judgemental and negative voice chattering away in your head then give me a call and we can work together to find a way forward for you to have a more productive and positive view of yourself.

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We will all have, at some point, a difficult relationship to manage, whether it be in work, in our family with parents, our children or a partner. Talking through the difficulties you are having will help you to become more self-aware, so you can better understand how your behaviour may impact on others, and how their behaviour impacts on you, maybe bringing up old hurts and wounds from childhood that are now playing out in your adult life. Having someone to listen and validate what you are feeling, and gently look at the situation from a different perspective, will help you to develop more secure relational patterns.

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Difficulties in relationships are one of the main reasons people seek counselling. Going through a separation or divorce can be one of the most challenging and painful times in our life. Trying to stay calm, and make important decisions whilst dealing with feelings of anger and loss can be very difficult, and even more so if there are children involved. Dealing with the pain surrounding the loss of your relationship can be overwhelming, but having an understanding, friendly and confidential person to talk to will enable you to feel heard and understood, allowing you to work through and make sense of your feelings.

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Sometimes we reach a crossroads in our working life and are not sure which path to take. Other times we can be forced to make a change, such as in a redundancy situation or the loss of a hoped for promotion. Having over 30 years of work experience, and being a long standing member of the Chartered Institute of Personnel Development as well as a qualified counsellor, I can help you to look at your strengths and interests, as well as the obstacles that are stopping you from achieving your goals. Together we can explore what you really want from your work and your life, enabling you to make more informed and considered decisions that align with your personality, aspirations and personal circumstances.

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